60 On Up, Lillian Rubin's Straight Talk on LATER Aging

The only picture in this book is on the cover.  See?  Down at the lower left is the author--Lillian Rubin herself.  An 80-plus sociologist and psychotherapist, her subtitle is "the truth about aging."  The "truth" is mostly geared to those who are white, middle-class, and educated   Not everyone.

That's fine with me.  Are you surprised?  It would be very presumptious for Rubin to be take on the entire population over 60.  We need more voices to tell us what it's like to be a black man--middle-level, never-married who retired at 64 from a government job, for example.  His life and mine are miles apart.

Perhaps her book will inspire others, to write about aging after 60 from varyious perspectives-- race/class/gender identity.  Some experiences will be similar.  All of us past experiencing these years move uncertainly in a swiftly changing world with few guidelines. 

While she includes problems currently discussed frequently in the media--aging children caring for their parents-- her own anger when her difficult, 85 year old mother on the opposite coast resisted the move to an assisted-living facility.   Rubin was in her late sixties.   She notes:

By the time the leading edge of the baby boomers reaches their seventies and eighties, they'll have 100-year-old parents to deal with...

Though the book is filled with the reality we know--the consequences of often roleless and longer life spans, the loss of social networks--I enjoyed reading it. It was as if a conversation was going on between us.

A sociologist and psychotherapist, Rubin speaks of "age grading" where people separate themselves by age.  My own efforts to point this out among peers is always met with resistance.  Many have commented on the discomfort felt by pre-retirement individuals toward colleagues who have left the work force.  In an ageist culture the next division is the old vis a vis the older.  Personally I feel it in my seventies from women in their sixties.  I sense its their fear about the future.  Very understandable with so much media emphasis on bad news about the elderly.

Rubin is an insightful writer whose articles on race, class, gun control (to name a few) continue to appear in Dissent magazine.  Missing for me in 60 on Up were ideas for how--or if--those over 60 might bring about change for themselves.  Personally she did it by starting to paint after 70.  Would she like my workshop idea, "Blogs and Zines for Geezers" as a way toward both agency and creativity?

Pleased her photo was on the cover--only wish it had been larger.  [Thanks to bloggers Ronni Bennett and Cowtown Pattie for the link to an hour-long interview with Lillian Rubin where she mentioned that her publisher would not put "80" in the title because "...people would not buy it."  More provocative issues like sex and unconditional love are addressed.  Some of her ideas on living a long life surprised me--a good thing!]

Comments

[Cowtown Pattie]

I haven't read it yet, glad to see the review!

This aging thing ain't as simple as I imagined! So many levels of emotions are what caught me off guard, I think.

At 53, I guess I am considered to be on the cusp of old age, perhaps, but I already feel the dividing line between what is considered young/old. Feels like I have one foot on each continent of age.

[sahara]

While I'm not surprised who the audience is, there is a racial divide here. If folks could learn from each other, we'd make progress. I come from a culture where age is respected to the point where black mothers complain about there daughters acting "grown" for their age. And the number of us raised by grandmothers, due to parental death and other factors, puts a new perspective on it. At my fiftieth birthday party, there were friends ranging in age from 27 to about their 60+. You couldn't GET the young women out of the kitchen, where they were hanging out with my older crew. My crew, were trying to tell them to enjoy their life while they were young; the young women felt that (me included) they couldn't WAIT until they retired. This is how much abuse we suffer. To be honest, I'm envious of the life of my retired friends. They travel, and are enjoying their lives, which include friendships with younger women.

But, for the educated, middle-class youth? If THE JOB is now the substitute family, no wonder everyone's scared of getting old.

When you have a balanced life, you don't worry about age; but if you've been groomed only for career success, you'll have aging problems, partly cause you did very little else in your life. I want to say more, but I gotta go, this disorganized job is pressuring me.

I can't wait until I retire. Oppression makes you look forward to it.

[M.E.]

yeah, retirement...(mad, hysterical laughter). tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. problem is, all the younger folks keep retiring (including the one with the can opener!!), and i feel compelled to hang around to ensure some kind of continuity for at least the last issue of our wonderful magazine. sahara is right about the race thing. boy, i do envy the black folks in this town...they are really tight with each other. my black coworkers have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins up to yingyang. what a wonderful life. this past easter, one of the women on my floor had 17 people staying overnight in her apartment that weekend. whether all of this relates to anything, i dunno. but sahara's comment made me think of it.

[naomi dagen bloom]

pattie: from the culture's perspective, i guess you are on the "cusp of old age." from mine, 20 years your senior, you're into a great decade. that's when i still had energy to match interests. the interests prevail but the a big day of "doing" is followed by rest.

sahara: aha! it's always delightful when you visit, share the world on your side. still hope you can be convinced to add your touch to our Condom Amulet exhibit at Knitty City. yes, i read your blog and work is over-the-top. maybe the next big fiber show?

m.e. wondered what that odd sound was last night. thought it was plumbing malfunction, glad to know it was your chuckling about elusive retirement. do you think it's significant that the commenters ahead of you are much younger than you and me?

[m.e.]

naomi: it's probably very significant in that they (still) seem to be able to string coherent sentences together and that they (still) are out there working hard at significant stuff. but a course, that describes you, too. hmmm...lemme think here (heh)...it's quality of life we're after, i think, whatever our dates of birth. just what is THAT?